By: Emily Byers

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Amateur Bowl

 This morning I got up at 7 am to drive forty-five minutes to the Probowl practices.  As Dolphins season ticket holders, we were supposed to be VIPs for this event.  If there was a VIP, it certainly wasn't me.  The players never so much as glanced in the direction of the fans, nor did they come near the stands to sign autographs.  Normally I would think this was business is usual, but didn't we vote them into the probowl???

For a paid weekend that is voted on by the fans, the players seem to be forgetting that it is time to say thank you to those of us who make them household names.  Some of the honorees are only there because of name recognition even though they had paltry seasons and should be the first to hobknob with the fans who know them.  Just ask DeAngelo Williams who missed last year's probowl even though he was the league leader in running back touchdowns.  Look me in the eyes and tell me Clinton Portis was more impressive in 2009.  I dare you.

To his credit, DeAngelo was a social butterfly running around in his red hat, and when we screamed his name he turned to the stands and waved at us.  Not as good as actually signing my jersey....but still the least reprehensible of the lot.  Another Panther who shall remain nameless (Okay, it's Julius Peppers) never once looked at the stands or picked up a pen, but he did have to show up for practice today and that must have been excrusiating. 

The players seemed calm, jovial, and thrilled to be in the warm January sun.  It was funny to see McNabb and Romo tossing the ball back and forth.  Players who had played at the University of Miami basked in the spotlight.  Some even gave genial interviews to a jolly Warren Sapp that were broadcast over the live speakers.  It was the only time we knew anyone was aware of the fans.   DGPCEN6AMT6N

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Are the Rumors of a Mcnabb Departure Just That?

      Philadelphia is as known for disgruntled fans as for cheese steaks, but they are not without their charm.  Yes, their love/hate relationship with Mcnabb borders on abusive.  Yes, they get rid of a great back up (Garcia) to overpay a man who isn't even a great human being. (Vick)  But could Philadelphia really be ready to cut ties with Mcnabb?

     According to PhillySportsBlog.com, Mcnabb threw for thirty five thousand yards last year.  I suspect he meant thirty five hundred, but with 22 touchdowns and a QB rating of over 92 you would be hard pressed to find a better quarterback anywhere else.  We all know that's not what this is about.  It's about the crushing losses to Dallas and his reputation for blowing the big games.  While they went 11-4 this year, they didn't beat even one team that made the playoffs.  Granted, Mcnabb did not play in every game thanks to an injury in week one.  There's a great article in the Dallas Star that about sums it up.   http://www.star-telegram.com/332/story/1881936.html

    Kolb's contract expires at the end of this season and logic dictates they're not going to keep Vick.  A team that is willing to make that kind of risk would have to be at their wits end.  Not only is he an ineffective passer, but he wasn't a very good citizen during his Atlanta years.  Philly has enough controversy every year with the perennial midseason meltdowns and heroic late season rallies.

    Nevertheless the buzz is out there.  Bleacherreport.com reports that young players are seeking advice from Kolb and that Philadelphia won't want to pay Mcnabb his 6.5 million dollar roster bonus in May.  They say Kolb is an able signal caller and has the respect of the team.  Now I will be the first to admit I have said some pretty terrible things about Mcnabb in the past, but I tend more toward blaming Andy Reid - who by the way was signed to a fat contract after the mid-season Atlanta win.

     For once I can't rule on this.  There seems to be so much controversy around the poor man every year that it seems all this is crying wolf once again.  What is the future of Mcnabb in Philadelphia?

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Old Soldiers Never Die...Nor Do They Ever Shut Up

So tell me honestly, folks.  If Brett Favre wins the Superbowl would he wander out into the woods and die like a good cat?  If so, I'm all for it.  As I write this the Saints / Vikings game is still tied and I am wondering which outcome would cause me the least risk of having my eyeballs permanently frozen in a rolled position.  Yes the Saints have never been to the Superbowl and the city of New Orleans could use something to renew their civic spirit.  And for a complete lunatic, Sean Payton isn't overly obnoxious or arrogant and Drew Brees is a man of few words.  (Unlike a certain whiny quarterback who doesn't want his undeserved probowl bid because he's "injured.")  That said, I'm unimpressed by Reggie Bush, the defense who shows up about as frequently as leap year, and as an NFC south rival fan, I don't want to hear how great they are the way I used to have to hear about Michael Vick.

If Favre goes to the Superbowl, at least I can have a show down of Good versus Evil.  Okay, Good versus Crotchety, Hypocritical, and a little bit senile.  The man spent the last two years ruining summer television with his Ross Perot like commitment to the game...not to mention dicking over Aaron Rodgers with his phony retirement.  Then he rewrites history to say he was a victim of age discrimination and conveniently forgets how terribly he'd played up until the last season in Green Bay.  So my question to you is this:  Which outcome will give me less Favre in the long run and who can I sacrifice to to make it happen?

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Why Dave Belknap is the Greatest Guy Who Ever Sat Behind us at a Game

Throughout the history of sporting events there has always been the misfortune of having other spectators sitting in your vicinity.  Whether it was "Too Fat and Sweaty Guy" (who needs two seats between himself and the next patron) or "Show Up in the Wrong Jersey and Cheer Obnoxiously Guy" (always a Cowboys fan)...being the presence of others can ruin an otherwise beautiful Sabbath of drinking and cheering for blood.

This all changed when we met Dave and his great family, Rosemary and Dustin.  Why can one patron make the difference, you ask?  For starters:

1) Dave is not afraid to ROCK a matching orange 80's hairdo with his son on a ninety degree day, even for the preseason.

2) Dave laughs when I joke that the starting quarterback will be bagging groceries next year...even after the prophecy is fulfilled.

3) Dave brings alternative burgers to the tailgate and points out that we're eating a beloved disney character, even though he made it delicious.

4) Dave is willing to move seats with us next year so we can be closer to the aisle seats.  THAT IS LOYALTY PEOPLE.

5) And lastly, if three starting quarterbacks go down and we are forced to bring in our last option (and I mean LAST- the next step is letting the audience participate) he will be integral in starting a section wide chant of "TYLER THIGPEN." 




Friday, January 22, 2010

Can there be a redemption of Jake Delhomme?

It's no secret that I am biased and that I desperately want the answer to be yes.  Why?  Because Jake is a great tv quarter back.  He's passionate and exaggerated without seeming entitled and sissy like a certain New England player with his own rule book.  He's also fun to watch when he can connect with his receivers and when he goes bad...you can't look away.  It's like onlooker delay at the worst accident in uptown's history.  If all this ultimately fails to stimulate, there is always the bar bet on whether this is the day Jake will finally bite off that dangling bit of tongue.

Charm and character aside, there are reasons his career may be over.  Over the last eight seasons he has an average quarterback rating of roughly 88 (not bad, but not spectacular) and he's thrown 94 interceptions to 123 touchdowns.  That may not seem dreadful, but with John Fox coaching he may not have thrown the ball more than 225 times in eight seasons.  He's thirty-five years old and we have absolutely no idea whether his surgery caused last season's meltdown.  Carolina has a good quarterback in Matt Moore who would probably produce the same stats over an eight year period and who needs the experience.

For now I will keep my Number 17 jersey on its hanger and hope that a little bit of pixie dust is all Jake needs to bounce back from a disastrous year and give us one last go round where being a Cardiac Cat is a good thing.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

And so it begins...

Already the internet is alive with fantasy predictions for the 2010 season and they couldn't be more bizarre.  The ESPN staff is already on board with their picks, though they are the only people in America who can keep their job after being less accurate than a weatherman. (who by the way, owes me fifty bucks.  I had to pick up snow gear on Canal Street after he predicted a balmy fifty degree day in NYC.)

Here's the Jist:

1) Drew Brees will go #1 at quarterback.  What a gutsy prediction!  I had Drew Brees as my quarter back two years ago, when they were a paltry 8-8, and he still averaged in the top 3 most points.  Sean Payton calls the going deep plays like Al Davis has kidnapped his daughter and only the Hail Mary can save her.  No surprises here.

2) Brandon Marshall over Desean Jackson

Now I'm no huge lover of Desean Jackson.  As a family member-to-be pointed out, he's "magnetically repelled by his own end zone."  That said, he's going to get his catches and unless the Eagles do something drastic this off season, they are in no danger of having a run game.  Brandon Marshall, on the other hand, can't seem to get a promise ring from Josh McDaniel and can't stay out of Georgia court even when playing all the way in Denver.

3) Tom Brady will throw for 32 touchdowns (according to ESPN.com) HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
   Even with the "Brady Rule" there aren't enough yellow flags in the world to put that many balls in the hands of Randy Moss.  (pun intended)  And if I'm wrong, don't bother correcting me because I will have already lain down in traffic.

I look forward to your thoughts on the first installment of a column I think I'll call "What the Professionals Said."