By: Emily Byers

Friday, July 30, 2010

Mascots in Need of a Makeover

Some NFL mascots are in serious need of a makeover.  The purpose of a mascot is to rile up the crowd, enchant the young fans, and act a clown, only without the creepy sadness factor.  Some mascots perform admirably.  TD, the Miami Dolphin, does a remarkable job for a fish of questionable masculinity in an aqua jersey.  Both the Dallas Cowboys and the New England Patriots have mascots that are essentially bobble head dolls of the printed mascot.  They are recognizable and beloved as larger than life representations of the team.  The big, blue Buffalo Bill has a costume so awesome I want him at all of my parties.  Now on the failures of the mascot world:

1. Baltimore Ravens - named Edgar, Allen, and Poe...the Baltimore Ravens are a rip off of Heckle and Jeckle.  In addition, what young child wants their picture taken with three scary birds???  When I was a little girl I wouldn't even go near a man with a mustache!  It's not just that I personally hate birds that is clouding my judgement; I bear the Seattle Seahawk no ill will.

2.  Jacksonville Jaguar - Jaxson de Ville is a cat.  How simple and elegant to achieve, an unsuspecting person might think.  The Carolina Panther (though lamely named Sir Purr) is a sleek black feline with a volumous roar.  Jaxson de Ville looks like he may have eaten more than his share of paste back in primary school.  Pot-bellied, wearing sunglasses at night, and sporting spots on his coat that are remniscent of leprosy, one must infer that the designer of this costume knew his department was being downsized and wanted revenge.

3. Tennessee Titans - The mascot is a RACCOON.  Get it, it's a metaphor!  (stop thinking, it's not a metaphor)  It's bizzarre is what it is.  Moral of the story, don't name your team something you can't portray as an overgrown stuffed animal.  It's just unsportsmanlike.

What I have I missed?  Please leave comments about the best and worst of football mascots.

No comments: