"Show Me" T.O.

Loyal readers, I must confess.  My integrity as a writer has been compromised by summer television.  You see, in the absense of football, sitcoms, or even Christmas cartoon specials, I have become addicted to Vh-1 reality shows...both "The Ultimate Catch" with Chad Ochocinco and "The T.O. Show."  And it's not just that I'm watching the shows...but this mid-summer heat has melted my brain and heart into steaming puddles that now sympathize with T.O.'s plight and hope he lands on a team this year.  He just seems so sad.

Rumors of a possible deal with St. Louis make me think contradictory thoughts.  First, why does the St. Louis Rams front office hate their fans?  But also, why not take a chance on T.O.?  In a division where teams compete tooth and nail to see who can be king of the Losers (and perennial sacrificial lamb in the playoffs) T.O. might elevate St. Louis from playing its roll as stooge of the division.

Let's look at the evidence against him.  First, he was distracting in San Francisco, Philadelphia, and Dallas.  Since he wasn't pushing forty at the time, let's throw out San Francisco.  Maybe he thought "outing" Jeff Garcia would be popular with the San Francisco fan base.  Garcia sure didn't think so.  In Philadelphia he risked his own health to play in a superbowl...then spent the remainder of his tenure there reminding everyone about it.   Maybe T.O. is a prophet and he knew one day the Eagles would stoop to the ultimate low of signing Puppy Killer and Sociopath Michael Vick.  He was only trying to warn the Eagles that they were on a path to destruction....like the Bible says "Someone is shouting in the desert!"  Finally T.O. ruined a great deal in Dallas by becoming locker room poison.  To be fair, it isn't easy to watch your ex-bff move on so quickly after you split.  Romo and Witten didn't have to exchange friendship bracelets right in front of T.O.'s locker.

The next damning piece of evidence is his poor performance in Buffalo.  St. Louis, however, isn't frigid from late September on.  Its climate controlled stadium might be friendlier to the veteran receiver.  When running with the grain of the turf it is actually faster than running on grass.  Click on the link for an informative article on astroturf.  If one is worried about T.O. poisoning the locker room, they only need to remember the 1-15 record last year.  I imagine the locker room literally contained poison for grown men to play so badly.  Also, if T.O.'s mouth is that big a deal put a "no talk" clause in his contract.  Every time he speaks in the locker room he forfeits his salary that week.